My blank sheet

My heart quickly faded to nothing
My head turned into a real mess
My silly soul disappeared somewhere
But it probably just needed a rest

And then everything was turned upside
And down below me I could see
That life was still carrying on so
It was carrying on perfectly without me

My blinding pain made me search you
Imagination sees you glowing with a smile
And in my head you laughed at me
All of my complains, my threats, my cries

And you just told me all will be good
That there's nothing to be afraid of - if I look
Just clearer and deeper into myself
I'll find you sitting and mending the tear

But I lost hope again and again and again
Blamed my past and love that was pretense
I wondered what a life I was living now
If this nightmare won't just kill me somehow

But you were there standing in the storm
You were my shelter and I was so wrong
The pages were turning but I didn't see
You erased the pain, now I hold a blank sheet

You'll tell me eventually what to fill it with
Smiles, hopes, love, dreams- and I'll put in
Time for only you and me. I promise
I lost sight before but now it won't happen

Until then I still shed tears sometimes
But you're patient with me make me realise
That you're there in your subtle ways
And one day this storm will blow away

 I know now that I'm precious to you too
So you'll work your miracles when  you do
But until then you lull my tears to sleep
And I'll hold my pen above my blank sheet

-A.Tulsiani